Math Education

My high school teachers preached
Algebra
for homework like,
"If you eat that x calorie cake,
will x+y<2000?"

The five-fingered bullies
taught us  to fit in a
size four dress and

TV taught me about
before and after pictures for
30 day trials to lose 30 pounds.

Meanwhile my mother
counted all 30 of my teeth
When I ate until I
learned to count every pound of flesh,
and I called them names like
Too Much and
Not Enough
 
So when my wisdom teeth pierced
my gums
I searched for an identity
on Facebook
on MySpace
and google

Because I knew the definition of
beautiful I tried
to sweat out of my swollen body
COULD be measured
And there isn't a digit
that Google doesn't know.

Facebook shows me an after and before picture
Of a bloated puzzle piece
That did not fit the BMI jigsaw.

In 2012 I am 150lbs
5ft 2in tall
I lace together wooden slats that
bite into my ribs and
shape myself into an hourglass
labeled 2005.

And I have 164 pictures for 2012.

In 2005 I am 100 lbs
5ft small.
I drag a woolen sweater
Over my curves concave
Like a bodybag and hide.

And I have fourteen pictures for 2005.

So it starts to make sense why when a boy
whispers to me "You are perfect"
When a boy tells me "You are beautiful,"
I tell him "You are a liar. You are
a salesman with
my misshapen body as your commission."

See, I've got a bible called "The American Free Woman Gospel,"
written by Google,
the TV
the radio
the teachers and the preachers

And it has but one truth:

"You will be great when you are small."